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Socoder -> Off Topic -> Adverts

Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 04:55
Dabz
@Poll: All of them... I ruddy hate adverts!!!
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 04:55
Jayenkai
Fix all your problems with a simple £100 loan! All you have to do is repay us £185,000 by the end of the day, or we'll kill you! Simples!!!

Oddly, the "Cash For Gold" bollocks seems to have all but disappeared, lately. Which is nice!

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Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 05:05
GfK
The ones on Sky News.

"Umjawa has to walk three miles every day to fetch water for her family".

Umjawa lives in a fucking box. Move your box a bit nearer to where the water is. Can't help you if you won't help yourself. FFS.
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 05:09
Dabz
Brighthouse is another one...

"Is your credit rating shit? Do you want to make it shitter? Then why not buy one of our lovely sofa's where you can sit nice and comfy while musing on how your going to kill yourself when you'll realize you've paid £1375 for a couch worth £600 (Representitive Example, will probably cost the shirt off your back too, oh, and eyeballs too, we'll have them as well)"

Dabz

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Windows 10 (64bit), AMD Phenom x3 710 2.6GHZ CPU, Asus M5A78L-M/USB3, 16GB RAM DDR3 1600MHZ, Gigabyte AMD Radeon HD 7950 (3072 GDDR5), 500W PSU, 500GB HDD
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 05:11
Dabz
Just for three pound a month you can provide Bonjela clean water...

Hold on... How come it's fucking cheaper then mine and all it does around here is piss down! :/

Dabz

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Windows 10 (64bit), AMD Phenom x3 710 2.6GHZ CPU, Asus M5A78L-M/USB3, 16GB RAM DDR3 1600MHZ, Gigabyte AMD Radeon HD 7950 (3072 GDDR5), 500W PSU, 500GB HDD
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 05:15
GfK
Yeah I pay over £20 a month for water and fuck knows what's in it. OK, only a slim chance an elephant's shat in it but still.... it's basically recycled piss. Them fuckers who get their water fresh from the ground should be giving us some. I'd have to pay a quid a litre for Volvic or Evian.
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 05:29
Dabz
I also laugh at stuff like...

Lucozade Sport - Better Hydration, Better Exercise

or

Lucozade Sport - Proven to give you an edge. Have you got it in you?

With some track and field nonce, or footballer looking all GREAAATTTTTTTT leaping from the blocks or taking a free kick...

Well Lucozade mate, I have news for you, I'm 13 stone, 5'10, 39, smoke 10 cigs a day, I'm as rough as shit from the drink and I have as much interest in doing exercise then I have getting my bell end cheese grated using the coarse side of the grater... So piss off with your olympic shite, I'm just thirsty and as it just so happens, the reason I drink your soda streamed granny piss is because, I'm a fucking weirdo and I like the taste of it.... RIGHT!!!!

Dabz

P.S. As you can guess... That was from the heart that was!

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Windows 10 (64bit), AMD Phenom x3 710 2.6GHZ CPU, Asus M5A78L-M/USB3, 16GB RAM DDR3 1600MHZ, Gigabyte AMD Radeon HD 7950 (3072 GDDR5), 500W PSU, 500GB HDD
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 05:37
Dabz
And one more thing, when I was with the ex, in all the 10 year together, not once did she decided to go fucking roller blading with a grin a mile long because the painters were in!

In fact, it was... Quite the opposite!

So UP YOURS BODYFORM...

Body formed for you....................... SHADDDD UPPPPPPPP!!!!

Dabz

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Windows 10 (64bit), AMD Phenom x3 710 2.6GHZ CPU, Asus M5A78L-M/USB3, 16GB RAM DDR3 1600MHZ, Gigabyte AMD Radeon HD 7950 (3072 GDDR5), 500W PSU, 500GB HDD
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 06:48
Jayenkai
Adverts I like.
Lenor have started doing some adverts with the guy from Kimmy Schmidt. I find those amusing, mostly because he's still in his character from that show.
Dove have ads with Molly, the blind girl from YouTube. The fact that my mum recognised her is a telling sign of the inevitable future when YouTube takes over all TV content!

Also, neither of these ads feature people with UK accents, but amazingly, neither have been dubbed by shitty British voice actors!!!

Meanwhile Oral-B adverts continue to piss me off...
"I asked my dentist if I should bother to brush my teeth... he said Yes, you should brush your teeth!!"

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Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 07:16
GfK
Everything these days has been voted "Product of the Year".

I saw a thing about it on Modern Life is Goodish - companies are paying £1,000s for entry into these awards and pretty much everything is placed into an award category where it cannot possibly lose. And when it wins, the company pays then even more money for the privilege of using it in their TV ads.

In short, anything that claims to be "voted product of the year"... it's all bollocks.
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 07:19
GfK
Oh and don't get me started on Dove and shampoo ads. "Oooh look ladies! This one's full of jojoba! This one has oriental extracts! This one will make your fanny smell of jasmine and elderberry!". Fucks sake... women are daft. All a bloke would really want to know is a) will it shift engine oil, and b) will it get dog poo off after your finger accidentally went through the bag when trying to be responsible in picking up a dog turd.
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 07:22
GfK
I'm on a roll now... them Postcode Lottery ads. Seriously, why is it always a complete bellend that's won?
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 07:25
GfK
And on the subject of Lucozade... I like Lucozade as much as the next man, but I always thought this, from an old TV ad, was a bit of a bold fucking claim. I mean... Jesus... if you're going to lie, go for something a bit more believable like "cures the common cold".


Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 08:06
rockford
LOL at all of these! Definitely. All of them.

I'm on a roll now... them Postcode Lottery ads. Seriously, why is it always a complete bellend that's won?


I hate those too, purely because the lotto winner already knows they've won and how much; they get sent an email straight away, so why look all surprised when they are shown the cheque?

I really hate those animal cruelty ones the most - you're sitting down watching a nice family programme/movie/whatever together and then the ads come on. The first you see is a donkey, with crippling hooves a mile long, being beaten, then dog with a crossbw bolt through its head, or a cat with legs hanging off or a bunny being chewed in a trap or something. Not just "dramatisations" but the actual animal.

I'm totally against animal cruelty, but showing it to me directly isn't going to make me give any/more money or help your cause. The news wouldn't show us the same attrocities on humans until at least after 9:00pm, so why show these ads during CITV/whatever? These could be terribly traumatic/upsetting to a child. In adverts for child protection, they don;t show the actual kid being abused, so why allow it for animals?

BTW I'm not all "Animal Rights" - I see justification for valid animal research. I'm just an animal lover, but if you can't show humans being abused, don't show animals either.
Posted : Thursday, 10 August 2017, 10:15
GfK
This smarmy fuckweasel...


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