It is the Santa Claus

• Deliver gifts into each chimney until it turns gray, indicating that all children in the household have a gift. Santa is infallible, so all children will definitely get what they want/deserve and you don't have to worry about matching gifts up.
• Shoot enemies. Don't deliver presents to them. This won't work.
• Failing to deliver a gift to a child will cause Santa to take damage exactly as if he had been hit by an enemy for some reason.
• Delivering multiple presents consecutively without dropping one on the ground or missing a child will increase the value of the next present delivered by 50 points. This is key.
• When you're hit, you'll lose your helpers first, then your weapon power, then your Christmas Spirit (indicated by the kind of offensive-looking red and green bar). If you lose your Christmas Spirit, Santa loses a life.
• One ups are awarded every 250,000 points.
• Scrolling speed increases every 5 waves.
• There is no end to the game. Santa's mission is doomed.

• Presents: Get more presents so you don't run out.
• Milk: Restores your Christmas Spirit. (Note: milk outside of a power-up circle is poisonous and will harm the jolly fat one. I don't remember why I thought it was a good idea for enemies to throw glasses of milk at him -- the physics of keeping the glass from spilling are very baffling.)
  
• (P)ower: Increases your firepower.
• (H)elper: Gives Santa an Elf Satellite, but I was too lazy to draw elves so they're sort of just yellow diamonds. Whoops.

* I was a late bloomer. This also explains the voice clips.

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