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Socoder -> Off Topic -> A Pre-Emptive Strike on Whiny Valentine's Day Threads

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Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 01:10
Cower
Since I don't like using smilies, imagine me laughing the whole time I'm writing this so you can get an idea of how I intended it to be read.

Alright, you're all geeks, so you're all probably single. Most of you, anyway, I guess there's always deviations from the status quo. With Valentine's Day coming in a month, this is hopefully something you'll like to read (since I'm thinking about plans for it anyway) before it's too late. Being single on V-day sucks, and I don't mean the fifth of November. Consider this a pre-emptive attack on seeing threads whining about being alone.

This is primarily aimed at how to approach a girl without any creepy "game" stuff. You know the one: "don't hate the player, hate the game." That bull. It's all designed to make idiots objectify women and treat them like targets instead of people. I'm sorry to say that I take the route of them being just like you and me, but with less dangly genitalia and a better appearance.

Women are people too, believe it or not, just like men. That's all you need to know about talking to girls and guys alike. These are people, they aren't warm (or cold, you creepy necrophiliacs) holes that you're flinging DNA at- I apologize if you were raised as such. They're as smart as us and as stupid as us, they probably like the same things as most guys, and if you thought otherwise then that's probably why you're still reading.

How do you talk to the opposite sex? It's simple; talk to them as if you were talking to the same sex. Unless you discuss strictly feminine (menstruation, for example) or manly things (growing beards), you're probably fine talking about anything. That's right, the people around you can actually talk about those things too. Be polite, obviously, since you're probably talking to someone for the first time. Geek.

Asking someone out is easy as well: you ask. I know, guys are infamously bad at working up the courage to ask a girl out. Girls are usually just as bad at this, so it's not like you're alone. What have you got to lose? If it helps, do something to calm your nerves first (this does not mean getting drunk or high), but otherwise you just need to ask.

Keeping that in mind, it should be fairly easy to meet someone you like and ask them out. I tried my best to be gender-neutral, but it's hard to do when you can only speak from personal experience and the tales of others.

Oh, and never say "I love you." That's for married people, not you. There is an ideal place between treating women as your personal hole and treating them as the subject of your stalkerish adoration, and I hope that some of you will be able to to find it.

----

Feel free to contribute your own successes and failures in dating if you like. Could be funny. Not like people will judge you for it (if they knows what's good for thems).
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 03:38
Dabz
lol, cool thread!

Success: Havent really done too bad in the women thing, especially since I'm a ginge!

Been with Laura now for over 4 years, she was a barmaid in my local... I'd met her before, but never really struck up a conversion until she was a barmaid, asked her out (when I was still sober) and she said yes... And we're still together today!

I do have a few stories surrounding been on the pull... There was me and a few mates had gone down Durham City for a drink one Christmas Eve... We went down, ended up in a pub called the Coach And Eight and they all starting playing them daft question machines... The one in fact was 'who wants to be a millionaire'

I couldnt be really arsed to go down there in the first place and they dragged me down... So I was a bit miffed when they started playing on them stupid machines... I mean, who actually wins anything on them anyway?

So... As I was sitting looking around the bar, I noticed there wasnt much in the way of talent, it seemed to be all blokes (And no, its not a gay bar)... My mate Crainey came over and says "Whats the matter with you?", I said something like "Whats the matter with me... you drag me all the way down here only to stand in front of a bloody machine and we've got more chance in pulling in the Blue Star (Rough pub in my village) then here... I didnt get the words out and a lass came to my table and asked if I would look after her drink while she danced.

I said no problem and raised an eye brow to my mate... 30 seconds later she was telling me to get on the dance floor with her so I ripped off my jacket and bowled on in!!!

Next thing I'm taking her to my parents house in a taxi at the end of the night... We both ran up the stairs into my bedroom and I kicked my younger brother out of the room (With some major complaining going off from him) and did what comes naturally... Next morning, baring in mind it was Christmas day, I had a right nightmare getting her home as I couldnt drive (My older brother had to take her) and I got such a bollocking off my mam cos I had the whole house up with our, well, noises!!!

Happy days

Failures: Plenty, but thats part of the game!

Dabz

-=-=-
Intel Core i5 6400 2.7GHz, NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1070 (8GB), 8Gig DDR4 RAM, 256GB SSD, 1TB HDD, Windows 10 64bit
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 05:55
Afr0
Hmm...

Success: Kristin.
Failure: Attempted suicide more times than I can count on two hands.

Edit: If you wanna be nit-picky, I've had more successes, but I was looking at this in a general long-term kinda way. And this whole thread made me a bit soggy-like, anyhows.

-=-=-
Afr0 Games

Project Dollhouse on Github - Please fork!
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 09:32
Scherererer
Success: Longest relationship was around 10 months, broke up over the summer but been with a few girls since.
Failure: there is a very limited supply of available women in my area.

-=-=-
YouTube Twitter
Computer Science Series: Logic (pt1) (part 2) (part 3) 2's Complement Mathematics: Basic Differential Calculus
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 12:37
power mousey

Success: Linda Andrejko. From first grade up
to sixth grade. Plus childhood crush on Roberta Burdick.
Also a fling thing with Charlene and Sara while at work.

Failures: a few here and a few there.
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 13:05
Yo! Wazzup?
Thanks for the info, but I probably won't be needing it for another 5-7 years

-=-=-
Hi everyone! I'm new to Blitz and only 10 years old so all things coding is gush to me
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 13:16
power mousey

haha.
hey I used to be a first grade Cassonova.

your time and glory will come.
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 15:05
magicman
i was going to write a big long thing here but iv decided to just offer two bits of advice. Be happy. everything happens for a reason.

-=-=-
Stuff... Yeah...
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 15:28
Cower
To add one of my own failures, because those are funny and heck, you don't care about what good I've done, I got diarrhea on the first date with one girl. Let's just say that ruined it.

Diarrhea ruins all good things.
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 18:43
Scherererer
Valentine's Day isn't observed in my country, where it's regarded as an American thing.

A cynic would say perhaps it's just another one of those commercially-hyped dates of otherwise no significance (like Christmas) to make you feel guilty and waste money on flowers, cards etc.


I don't think you realize how lucky you are. . Haha, but really, I've always felt that it is a phony-balony commercialized holiday. When I was in a relationship it was an excuse to dote on her, but not being in one currently, I couldn't care less.

-=-=-
YouTube Twitter
Computer Science Series: Logic (pt1) (part 2) (part 3) 2's Complement Mathematics: Basic Differential Calculus
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 19:48
Nolan
Success: Meeting a girl online who lives close to me (although not through a dating site, or anything like that), something which I had always been skeptical of.

Failures: None, yet, because my current girlfriend is also my first.

Oh, and never say "I love you." That's for married people, not you. There is an ideal place between treating women as your personal hole and treating them as the subject of your stalkerish adoration, and I hope that some of you will be able to to find it.


I must say I disagree with you on this one. Sure, don't say you "love them" when you've been dating for two weeks (or, for that matter, even two months), as is the common practice -- that's just foolish. But, if you've been with them long enough, and really do love them, then I see no problem with this. There can be love outside of marriage.

-=-=-
nolandc.com
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 21:59
HoboBen
Nolan is right there. I know lots of happy folks who were together for years and years before getting married, just as I know some that got married too soon and hate each-other.

It's just an expensive ceremony! Even if you just get the certificate without the fancy stuff, it costs a few quid. It just makes legal things like wills easier to do.

-=-=-

Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 23:30
Toaster
God good advice but what the hell do you do when the freaking girl is afraid of men. I am trying to ask this chick out and shes like: "I dont want a relationship because I am in college and I dont have time" which is complete bull. The real reason is she had a really sucky boyfriend who screwed her over in there breakup and shes got this negative opinion of guys. I had to talk to her for a month before she started opening up to me and now shes like distancing herself from me.. I know alot of you probably just say let her go and find someone else but the thing is I like her too much to just let her go. I fell in love and her hardness to get is all the more appealing. Weird I know... As for marriage wait till after you get married before you have sex that way you don't screw some chick and she pops out a child and you end up hating each other. Kids raised in that type of environment usually get f***ed up. My longest relationship was never simply cause I am rather picky and i have a hard time getting over girls I happen to like. Two rules never date a girl you dont like just cause they like you and never go for just looks look at who they truly are in the inside cause thats what matters in the long run. Although good looks are nice too but most hot chicks are jacked up in the head..

I know I might be f***ed for life.

-Toaster
Posted : Sunday, 06 January 2008, 23:57
Cower
Well, even if you don't like it, let her go. Maybe it's the first girl you've dated, I don't know, but usually after one time like this people learn their lesson. She's clearly not interested and you shouldn't keep pushing it.
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 00:41
Afr0
It's not that she's not interested, it's that she's afraid to be bound to anyone else, ever. If she's been as screwed over by her previous BF during their breakup as Toaster makes out, then she'll probably never find a new guy in her life. I would know.

Edit: That isn't to say she won't screw anyone ever again. That'd be... almost biologically impossible. With any luck (?) , she'll pump out a couple kids at some point in her life, but she won't ever be married or in another relationship.

-=-=-
Afr0 Games

Project Dollhouse on Github - Please fork!
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 02:53
Toaster
Sorry when I meant screw over I meant... That he dumped her pretty hard and he pretty much went around and had sex with every other girl in the school.. Made her look like a s*** bag. I guess he didn't treat her too well during the relationship and in the end all he wanted was her body. I am dead sure shes never had sex before like 100% sure. Don't ask how I know I just do. Thing is she might be interested but scared of what might happen. Scared of me! gentle me.. lol I have to build more trust not sure how to do this exactly.. sigh.. I am not too good with girls in the first place like I said before no girlfriend ever before in my life. I just never took the time to care in till late highschool. The whole matter confuses the crap out of me and I am really having a hard time letting go. I don't know how to describe the type of pain I have. Its just unbearable. I cant stop thinking about her I tried other girls but her face comes back and yeah its getting really bad. I see her in my head like all the time. Doesn't help she calls me and talks or writes me emails and stuff.. Last time we talked which was on xmas day we talked for 3 hours. Not a whole lot of time and in the summer we talked for like 5-6 hours straight. I don't even know how I did that and its the first time I've ever truly connected with someone. I think I am like a addicted or something its strong addiction then beer I can tell you that much. Why the heck am I posting this argg sorry to bother ya guys with my life problems! After all Valentine's is suppose to be a good holiday so I hope those with girlfriends have a great time on it and you dont have to try to anwser my life questions you can if you want though..

-Toaster
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 03:27
Cower
The way you seem to be describing it, I would stop yourself right now. It's called an obsession, not love.

And on that note, I'm going to sleep.
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 03:55
Mog
Today on Dr. Drew....
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 12:43
Toaster
hmm It might be obsession but I dont think so. I think its getting better I was off on break and I had nothing to do so I had alot of time to think and get uber depressed. Now that I am back at school I have other things keeping my mind off it.
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 12:55
power mousey
maybe you'll meet more friends
and a few more girls there, Toaster.


yeah depression. I know. stewing and brewing
and anger turned inward. trying to mentally fix
a problem that might not have a solution in
your thinking.
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 13:54
Toaster
Yeah hopefully I seem to have only ugly girls trailing me though. I swear like I worked at the summer camp and I had all these young chicks like idolizing me. I felt like a rock star or something. I mean it was great but it was too bad that they were so young(15-17).. Went to school and its like ugly fat chicks staring at my ass I am like WTF get away from me.. This one girl had these beady eyes and was like demon possessed or something she scared me.
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 14:21
power mousey

haha
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Sarah, wasn't the prettiest nor the ugliest.
Kinda somewhere in-between. Like vanilla fudge.
But she has a great personality and very outgoing
and down to earth. Plus, she loves heavy metal
and especially Van Halen, Ozzy, Metallica, and
Twisted Sister too.
Charlene, again sorta vanilla fudge,overweight
but very nice personality, smart, and very creative
and imaginative too.

again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
And is skin deep too.
Posted : Monday, 07 January 2008, 19:54
Nolan
maybe you'll meet more friends
and a few more girls there, Toaster.


Often the former will lead to the latter, in my experience... you can meet girls in very unexpected ways, so keep your mind open. I met my girlfriend through a friend.

I don't buy into this stuff about "the game," myself.

-=-=-
nolandc.com
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