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Socoder -> Off Topic -> Very off topic

Posted : Wednesday, 16 January 2008, 19:21
Scherererer
I don't know when we became a dating advice site... but, eh.

Just remember, what comes first is yourself. Date whoever you have feelings for, because in the end, you'll either kick yourself for not dating girl 2 or you'll kick yourself for not dating girl 1 or you'll kick yourself for dating one of them.

Sometimes, women will not do anything until they find out something else is being set into motion. This girl #1 didn't want to change anything because she was having a good time with you, but when girl #2 pops into the picture, suddenly she's licking the lolipop and girl #1 wants it back. Its natural for humans to want what we can't have, and to do things when what we want is being threatened. In a word, its partially jealousy.

Don't get a big head over that, mind you. She probably wouldn't believe it even if it hit her like media's frying pan.

Just go out with whoever you have the most feelings for, if girl#1 is just a friend then she can be just a friend, but if you like her more than girl#2 then date her. Its all up to who you enjoy spending time with the most.

And besides, in the real end you'll just kick yourself for having the natural male compulsion to be with this crazy sub-species of humans .

good luck, tikihead

-=-=-
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Computer Science Series: Logic (pt1) (part 2) (part 3) 2's Complement Mathematics: Basic Differential Calculus
Posted : Wednesday, 16 January 2008, 20:39
magicman
Personally, i dont think i would go out with either of them. But what you really have to ask yourself is which one of them do you like in the way that would make you want to date them, which one do you like in the since of love but not really love because it most certainly isnt love but you get what im saying sort of way. all in all, just follow your heart.

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Stuff... Yeah...
Posted : Wednesday, 16 January 2008, 21:07
Stealth
I'll bet five bucks girl 1 has liked you for sometime. And probably more-so than girl 2. Honestly your probably pretty compatible with girl 1 if you've been able to keep a good friendship with her this long. Instinct is right on track though, girl 1 is getting jealous because of girl two. And I'd even go as far to say girl 1 probably though you liked her back some, but now that girl 2 is in the picture she is worried. Also girl 1 knows if you get together with girl 2 that you two wont be as great of friends anymore. Girl's seem to pick up on things like that better than us guys.

*I* would have to say, go with girl 1, but only if you actually like girl 1, because if you go out with girl 1 and you don't like her, it wont last very long and you will hurt her feelings more in the end. But be cautious about going out with girl 2, because its going to be hard on girl 1's feelings. And if you do go out with girl 2, try to still be good friends with girl 1 and lookout for her feelings, thats what responsible guys do.

[/Dr. Phil]

Now where the heck is my Pepsi?

-=-=-
Quit posting and try Google.
Posted : Wednesday, 16 January 2008, 22:29
Jayenkai
I'm with Stealth.. I think!
I mean, on the onehand, you could mess up your longtime friendship with #1, by "dumping her for #2" (in her eyes)
On the otherhand, if you do end up dating #1 but things don't quite go well, you'd risk losing the friendship anyway!

.. Of course, the third mutant hand would be that girl #1's friend wasn't really sent to ask you out, and she's just bullshitting you. In which case it'll probably all blow up in your face.
Hurrah for relationships!


I vote girl #1 based on the fact that if you didn't like her that much you probably wouldn't have started this topic.

-=-=-
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Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 00:32
Afr0
Instinct I don't know when we became a dating advice site... but, eh.


*Looks at Jay*

We need a dating section!

-=-=-
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Project Dollhouse on Github - Please fork!
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 01:01
Toaster
Um forget about girls. Honestly there not worth your time. Unless you can actually find a decent one. Good luck with that though. Really all my friends just got dumped/rejected including myself. I also lost a friend who is a girl cause some idiot was spreading rumors and she believed them over me. So take it from me just forget about it unless there really worth your time. One of my friends droped everything for this chick and they even kissed and for 3 months he did whatever she wanted and then she just tossed him aside and said I dont think I can commit. So I say just f*** it.

-Toaster
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 04:14
steve_ancell
Relationships !... I've had too many of them over the years, and I'm now worn out. And they make you go bald.
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 04:48
Jayenkai
Feel free to post future life-related issues here. I don't see anyone really complaining. We're just all a bit love-lacking!

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Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 04:56
JL235
TikiHead I don't want to ruin our friendship but I would rather go out with my new planned-to-go-out girl friend.

I don't see what's there to discuss. You wanna go out with this new girl? Then go for it. Just do what's best for you.

Sorted.

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Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 06:15
HoboBen
Maybe you could go out with both at the same time. I know I guy who does this and he's very happy.

Seriously though, best of luck whatever you do.

-=-=-

Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 11:04
Forklift_Fred
I don't see any really helpless replies here, just varying opinions. The sad thing is, there is never going to be a right or wrong answer. In fact it's quite possible that whatever you do will be the 'wrong' answer on some levels. It's all about damage limitation. What is more important to you?

Your happiness now/future
Girl#1's happiness now/future
Girl#2's happiness now/future
Your relationship with Girl#1
Your relationship with Girl#2
Your relationship with yourself

I get the feeling that if the friendship with Girl#1 is as strong as I think then the best bet at this stage is talk to her about it. How the hell you do that, I can't help you with I'm afraid, only you know how the relationship works. It sounds to me that you are already heading towards Girl#2 so that looks the likely path. You have to ask yourself why the relationship with Girl#1 has only been as friends and to what level that friendship has gone (I mean in a bonding/understanding sense rather than flirting/love/sex). Do you (and conversely, for her) see her as a friend who happens to be a girl or a girl that happens to be a friend? By that I mean is it a friendship that could become a monogamous relationship or is it a friendship that could hold together a provide support no matter what? Would that friendship be damaged if you were to date Girl#2? (Also, do they know each other?)

The biggest problem in the mix is the extra friend that told you Girl#1 was interested. I hadn't thought of it myself but it is possible that it is made up. It is also possible that it's true. You will only know by talking to Girl#1 directly. If you are clear in your mind that you don't want your relationship with her to go anywhere new then talk to her. Ask her how she feels about your friendship and if necessary ask her if she would like it to go further but be ready to stand your ground and explain why you are asking otherwise she may think it's because you do.

Be honest to both girls and yourself. Be open and frank, especially if you value the friendship with Girl#1. If you do go with Girl#2 then for god's sake don't neglect the friendship with Girl#1 otherwise you could fall out.

Or, to quote Joey in Friends

"I have just 2 words for you... threesome!"


-=-=-
Come rain or shine...
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 12:19
Scherererer
and they even kissed


They kissed?!?!

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Computer Science Series: Logic (pt1) (part 2) (part 3) 2's Complement Mathematics: Basic Differential Calculus
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 12:32
Stealth
I don't foresee it working out longterm with girl 2. But I see a possibility for it to work out longterm with girl 1.

Also, for future dating advice topics, can we please have names instead of girl 1 and girl 2? Even if we just make something up?

Oh who am I kidding, this is a coder forum, we need to assign a variable to these girls names-- $girl1 and $girl2.

But more seriously, your not going to make both girls happy. Safest bet is to not date either of them. Wait around for a while and I bet Girl 1 is still your friend and Girl 2 is elsewhere.

@instinct

Heh.

@jay

Maybe a relationship category isn't such a bad idea. Haha. We sure do get a lot of these topics.

-=-=-
Quit posting and try Google.
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 13:40
Jayenkai
[teary]Aww, bless.. They're all growing up![/teary]

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Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 15:21
Yo! Wazzup?
That would've stunk if you said yes o.O
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 16:14
Scherererer
told you they were all crazy. heh.


... god i hate being right

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Computer Science Series: Logic (pt1) (part 2) (part 3) 2's Complement Mathematics: Basic Differential Calculus
Posted : Thursday, 17 January 2008, 16:35
Forklift_Fred
Ah... the missing link. Strangely enough I encountered a similar incident involving a lying ex a while ago on another forum. Had you mentioned that detail it would have put a different light on the whole thing

Not that I actually know what I'm talking about I do try though.

Anyway, all's well that ends well.



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Come rain or shine...