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Socoder -> RIP Threads -> RIP : Jay's Dad

Tue, 28 Feb 2017, 13:36
Mum just got a phone call from the police, who informed her, as "as close to Next of Kin as they could find" that my Father had been found dead in his flat.

We're currently having to contact his family in Ireland to let them all know, but nobody seems to be answering.
Hmm.. :/

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Tue, 28 Feb 2017, 13:44
Sorry for what you're going through Jay, try to stay strong fella.
Tue, 28 Feb 2017, 13:51
... I imagine there's going to be oodles of family coming to stay...

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Tue, 28 Feb 2017, 17:05
Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry to hear of this. I can't imagine how that would feel.

Web / Game Dev, occasionally finishes off coding games also!
Tue, 28 Feb 2017, 17:26
Very saddened to hear of your recent loss, please accept my deepest condolences for your family's loss.
Feb 2017 has been tough, my family lost a close relative, neighbor and a family friend.
Tue, 28 Feb 2017, 17:47
It's very hard to put into words what's running through my mind, tonight.

Without re-explaining, my father's been mostly shunned by most of the family for a good couple of decades.

Current vibes are, younger sis was in tears, whilst me and elder sis frankly couldn't care less.
Most of his brothers and sisters live over in Ireland, and after a few phone calls, we're not even sure if they're going to bother coming across.. same reasons. Unsaid. Don't speak ill of the dead, and all that..

But even still, my mind is busy, and I'm finding it hard to even begin getting comfortable enough for a sleep..
And coding doesn't seem to be happening either.

I suppose tomorrow will see things getting more "organised", but quite how organised, I'm not sure.
As for "woohoo, Switchmas!!".. I think that's going to have to wait..
Unless I can sneak away and play!!

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Tue, 28 Feb 2017, 22:32
Please accept my condolences Jay.
Wed, 01 Mar 2017, 02:02
I can't put myself in your position, but you may need to be a rock for those family members that do care, if they show up.
Stay strong, our thoughts are with you.

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Wed, 01 Mar 2017, 02:54
Awwww shit. Really sorry to hear about your loss (whether it is a loss to you right now or not - maybe in the future it'll hit you).

We're here and at the end of the day "Switchmas" is nothing really. You get a new machine and new games and all will be exactly as normal very sson after. But maybe the family won't descend until after Switchmas anyway...

Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Wed, 01 Mar 2017, 06:04
Hearing lots of "ok" messages, today.
People are learning the news, and Mum's in the middle of organising everyone, and who's coming across from Ireland and all that.

Of his four siblings, one brother is point blank refusing to come over, we've barely heard from the second brother, the third brother hasn't been informed yet (heavily mental disabled, and nobody wants to tell him over the phone, but nobody's had a chance to see him yet!) and his sister is in the same non-plussed state as most of us are.
She's unsure whether to bother coming all the way across ... "for him"

"For him" being a frequently used phrase, today.

There are cousins who have also been informed, but none of those really knew him all that well to begin with.

Thankfully he's got (/had!?) a solicitor who is taking control of the important finances and stuff, so we're going to leave it all to him.

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Wed, 01 Mar 2017, 09:11
Wed, 01 Mar 2017, 15:31
When my dad went it happened right in front of me, the ambulance crew got his heart goind again but he was then put on a ventilator for two days and never regained consciousness.

To see it happen in front of me, see the paddles being used and then seeing the machine be switched off two days later, no matter how hard someone thinks they are nobody can be prepared for this. I kept blaming myself, "what if I had done this or that etc...". Yeah he was a moany old fucker but that was my old man, and I felt so fucking useless with all that going on.

What I'm saying is this Jay. Don't be afraid to let it all out, the longer you hold it in the worse it gets. I'm thinking of you bigtime right now.
Wed, 01 Mar 2017, 17:22
Sorry to hear about this Jay.

I know you say you "couldnt care less", at the end of the day he was your Dad... and you do need to process this.

When I lost my Dad, I havent seen him in years and just "talked" to him via emails... it sucks big time! And I couldnt just come over all the way from Australia

Feeling for you!
Thu, 02 Mar 2017, 03:28
And that's seemingly the end of things.
Dad will be given a Pauper's funeral (e.g., council does everything. No family member. No service. Nothing)

None of his brothers or sisters wanted to come over.
None of his kids were going to go.
Mum, his ex wife, couldn't be bothered.

So.. There. Done.

This thread makes me sound incredibly fucking heartless, I know.
But this is the way things are, "for him".

RIP Dad.

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Thu, 02 Mar 2017, 04:16
That' incredibly sad on all counts, but I guess he reaps in death what he sowed in life.

Thu, 02 Mar 2017, 14:21
My condolences, Jay. It sounds like his distance from the rest of the family makes it complicated to work out how you 'should' feel, but I don't think anyone here would see it as 'heartless' - as rockford says, it doesn't sound like the apathy is unwarranted.

All the best.

A mushroom a day keeps the doctor away...

Keep It Simple, Shroom!
Thu, 02 Mar 2017, 16:08
Bugger. Condolences that you lost your dad a couple of decades ago. That's sad. All he's done now is died.

Life's biggest obstacles are your greatest opportunities to excel.
Sat, 04 Mar 2017, 08:53
My condolences.
Sat, 04 Mar 2017, 13:52
My condolences as well, family is a complicated set of affairs, that's the nature of it I suppose, good and bad!

All the best Jay with how it all pans out, but just remember one thing, even though I've never met you away from the keyboard, I know one thing... Your as good as gold mate!


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